A Miserable day October 23, 2009

Today was supposed to be good. Today had promise. Today was a huge disapointment.

When I first got to school, the PK4 teacher started talking to me about report cards, asking if I’d done them yet. “Done them?” I said, “I didn’t know they existed!” I proceeded to go up to the office and ask for one and became almost immediately overwhelmed with all the places I needed to evaluate all of my kids on. It would have been so much nicer if I had just known they existed… like 2 months ago.

Then, the principal came down to tell us that there was a flood and that the bathrooms we use were closed. That meant we had to go all the way through the rest of the school to use the 3 stalls in the bathrooms up there.

Then, we found out that the cafeteria was also flooded and we’d be ordering pizza and eating in the classroom but that the pizza wouldn’t arrive until 30 minutes after our lunch was supposed to start.

Then, I had a kid slap another across the face. I took him out in the hallway to yell at him.  A parent saw me and complained that I was being “too harsh” with a 3-year-old.

Then, they decided to close the school so we had parents all over the place in mass confusion, all wanting to talk to me about how their kid was doing and why the school was closing and whether their kid ate their lunch that day.

I had one little girl left. I went to the office to see if they had called mom… and got a resounding yes. The mom came about an hour later. She hadn’t gotten a call.

Meanwhile, I have one of the most massive headaches I can recall and I’m not getting all the information until 5 minutes after things are happening.

It was miserable. One of several terrible days in this hellish week.

The only redeeming qualities about today were getting off work 30 minutes early, the fact that it’s Friday and I don’t have to go back for another 2 days, and the couple parents that made it a point to come up to me and tell me how much their children love me. One mom even told me a story about how her son (in my class) and her daughter (in kindergarten) had a conversation about who had the best teacher and in the end both agreed that Khala Megan was the best.

I needed that today.

It’s been a while… October 20, 2009

I haven’t posted the last couple work days simply because my life has been busy and people are always more important than blogs. Or really anything.

Little updates on my classroom… My little 2-year-old friend has been removed from my classroom due to the fact that she was too young and incapable of completing the activities/requirements of the other kids in my class (i.e. being potty trained). Since, my classroom has been much quieter… I’m already feeling like I can take risks with activities that might have been too hard to do if one of us had to babysit. It’s really a lot better now. Sad that I can say it’s better without her, but it is.

I’ve been talking to my assistant a lot lately about her life and religion (she converted a couple months ago) and it has been really interesting. I knew she was married so I asked about her husband and she told me that they got married shortly after she converted and had never dated before then. It sounded like a marriage of convenience and “what we’re supposed to do”  instead of a marriage of love. It made me sad to think about it, but to each their own I guess.

As we have been coming closer to Halloween (a favorite holiday of mine), an article appeared in the school newsletter about how Halloween is the worst holiday for Muslims to participate in. Apparently Halloween was also a favorite of Alice’s… that is, before she converted.

I sing a lot in my classroom and the other day I asked Alice what kind of music she listened to. Apparently she hasn’t listened to music since she converted. She’s said it was hard.

All of those things led me to this question… What made Islam so appealing to you? This is the response I got:

Growing up Pentecostal, she saw many things in the church that confused her (speaking in tounges, how people can “repent” one minute and go back to the same sin the next, using oil as a method of forgiveness, etc.) and so she started Googling options. According to her, Islam isn’t that different from Pentecostal, except for the Jesus thing (A BIG difference, but whatever), so it was relatively easy to switch. When Alice had asked questions of the Christian people in her life, she hadn’t gotten sufficient answers so she was drawn away. She also liked the method of Islam… the washing, praying 5 times a day, fasting, etc.

All in all, she was seeking and found answers somewhere else.

I’m continuing to pray for her as we work together and as she learns more about me as well as her new found religion. I know God’s at work, but we’ll see what he has in store.

I’m doing fine in my job, but it still is just that: a job. I find myself looking forward to May, looking forward to what’s after this short chapter in my life, looking forward to how God’s gonna use all of it to His glory. Right now, after this year, I want to find a job as a wedding planner. I don’t know how that’ll go and if it’ll go, but I am getting over the idea of being a teacher. Yes, it is something I’m good at, but in so many ways I feel unused and unfulfilled. Getting out of bed in the morning gets harder and harder. I’ll be very ready to move forward after this year.

Doing what, only God and time can tell.

Getting it October 14, 2009

Today was another good day in Khala Megan’s room… I think the kids are actually starting to understand where they go and what is expected of them! It only took me a couple months! Now i can really focus on making things the way I really want them- with the kids being self-sufficient and me not having to use my loud voice to get things done.

Alice had a sub today… and it worked out fine! She was really go with the flow and just kinda mixed in with my classroom nicely. Apparently she helped out a couple years ago with the preschool kiddos so she knows what’s up!

Now I’m just praising God for his provision… it has been a lot of work but a lot of prayers have been answered and I know that’s just the beginning of the story for him!

Sorry it’s not a more interesting blog today… no new news to report I guess!

Mice in the Mosque October 13, 2009

So if you know me at all, you probably also know that I have a pretty serious fear of mice, rats, squirrels, chipmunks… really any kind of rodent, but especially mice and rats. Today was not my day as far as that was concerned.

Here we are, having a wonderful day (I had 10 kids absent today… I hope they’re all ok and all, but seriously, it was beautiful having only 11!) and we went over to the cafeteria for lunch. We were the first group in the cafeteria, so we went into our little area with the little tables and little chairs and started to eat. I went over to get the couple hot lunches my students had ordered and here “Sister, there’s a mouse over there!” AHHHHH!!!! I freaked out… I was proud of myself for not jumping up on to the table next to me. One of the cafeteria workers pointed to the middle of the room where a pile of prayer rugs were and said that there was another 10 or so under them. She was moving them to move the tables and they had all scattered back under the rugs.

Ok, seriously. SOOOOO GROSSS!!!! I’m proud I kept my composure as well as I did.

Apparently there have been mice in the cafeteria for some time… no one has bothered to do anything about it. (Sick. I’m one phone call away from the department of health.)

And apparently, there have been mice in the classrooms upstairs too.

And apparently they dont’ want me to stay sane this year. Cause one thing’s for sure… if those little mice scurry their way into my classroom, all hell WILL break loose. Don’t doubt me.

The assistant principal said they’ll be getting humane traps because she doesn’t want to hurt them. (Islamic code- Don’t hurt anything Allah has created.) I say GET THE GOSH DARN EXTERMINATOR IN THERE!!!  For real! This is a school cafeteria! If we have that big of a problem some drastic actions need to be taken.

SO gross. I have goose bumps just thinking about it.

The early childhood department decided it would be better to eat in our classrooms.

That’s great and all, but if we already have a mouse problem I REALLY don’t want to invite them over to my room. I will be deep cleaning EVERYDAY to make sure there is not a crumb for those little nasties to chew on.

UGH!!! YUCK!!!

Sorry, Security Guard, but no. October 12, 2009

At school we have a “security guard.” I put it in quotation marks because I don’t feel all that secure with him just sitting at a table looking out the window all day, but whatever. It’s his job.

Today, the “security guard” asked me if I knew one of the Arabic prayers. I responded “Oh, no, I’m not Muslim,” to which he responded “You will be.”

That perked my ears right up and I got into it as much as possible with him while I ran back and forth to my class. He seems to think that Jesus was a Muslim and that He didn’t ever say that He was the Son of God. (HAHA… what DID he say then?) I gave him the shortest gospel ever… “I believe Jesus was the Son of God and that he died for my sins.” and had to run off and go back to my classroom.

Still, what Mr. Security said stayed with me all day. It’s still in my mind. I hate the “all inclusive” religion… NO, I WON’T BE A MUSLIM! No, Jesus was not a Muslim.

I have so So SO many reasons for not being a Muslim, but the first, biggest, and most important reason is that I am forgiven by the fact that God sent his Son to die on the cross and take up all of my sins (and everyone else’s too) so that I can be considered sinless in God’s sight, and then He rose again to prove that he was stronger than death. It’s the only truth there is.

There is none after him. Period. I don’t need another prophet to tell me what to do or how to live. I’ve got it covered.

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EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATORS:

Tell me what you know about Montessori schools and their teaching methods… I’m considering converting my class to that format!

I already did, but… October 9, 2009

“Simon said, “Master, we’ve been fishing hard all night and haven’t caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I’ll let out the nets.” It was no sooner said than done- a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. The filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch. Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and I can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” When the pulled in that catch of fish, awe overwhelmed Simon and everyone with him. It was the same with James and John, Zebedee’s sons, coworkers with Simon. Jesus said to Simon, ” There is nothing to fear. From now on, you’ll be fishing for men and women.” The pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed him.”        -Luke 5:5-11, The Message

As I was reading this last night a whole bunch of things hit me.

Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve read this story and it was the first time I’ve ever read it in this translation so that could definitely be a part of the reason, but I truly believe God was speaking to me through his word.

1. When Peter (or Simon) is first told to put his nets out, he does but not without first making a point to say that he’d already been there, done that. The difference this time is that Jesus was with them. Jesus was in charge. Jesus had it all figured out before he did. Awesome.
2. When Peter finally did do what he was told, it was even more good than he could handle. It was almost more good than a whole bunch of people could handle. Think of how much good Christians would be able to bring in if only we really did what Jesus asked us to.
3. Jesus asks us to be a part of his holiness. Peter tried to step away, but nuh uh. Jesus called him back.
4. Jesus said “come with me and you’ll fish for people” and the fishermen left. Think about it. The left EVERYTHING. That includes the ENTIRE CATCH OF FISH!!! That’s a REALLY BIG deal.
5. This is our calling too, as Christians. Now all I want is a big people net so I can go catch the men and women!

Today was a better day. Actually the difference in today and yesterday was like night and day. I did have to pack up almost my entire classroom to make sure the kids at the weekend mosque activities don’t come in and terrorize my classroom (It sounds harsh, I know, but its happened before and that IS the right word for it.). I hope it works.

I’m just REALLY glad it’s the weekend.

Little Barometers October 8, 2009

Today was nasty.

The weather was gross. The kids were a mess. I was late… my power went out yesterday and while I was very careful to set my alarm time to the a.m., I wasn’t as careful to set the real time to the p.m. So this morning my alarm didn’t go off because it was set to the p.m. time and the alarm was set to the a.m. time. Ugh.

The kids were a disaster today. None of them listened, none of them followed directions, none of them did what they were supposed to do. Meanwhile, I’ve got the pk4 assistant telling me how behind I am in the Arabic lessons and how many coloring sheets I have to give my kids today. They were colored out.

So I took them to the gym to run around.

None of the p.e. equipment was anywhere to be found so I let them run.

My bad.

Several kids fell, but one fell and hit her head and her tooth (somehow… I have no idea) and was screaming and bleeding (from her mouth) so I had to run and get her ice from the other side of the mosque… Grrrrr.

Then I cut my finger with a scissors. Pretty bad. Blood and all.

Somehow I made it to the end of the day and while making a copy of the incident report I was stopped by the assistant principal who told me another parent was concerned about their kid not being challenged enough. Apparently he has gone from speaking in complete sentences to speaking like a baby. (It’s what happens when you’re in class with a bunch of other kids and a bunch of kids who are just learning English.) So I was asked to double plan and somehow make 2 groups, one of kids who need extra work and one of kids who don’t. She was very nice… she said I didn’t HAVE to, it was just something to think about.

In other words, I have to.

I will, but it’ll probably be a while.

I was hoping they’d give me more to do.

I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow. I did, but apparently G is for Guitar didn’t fly in the “Islamically correct” school rules and they “don’t encourage stringed instruments in their school.”

Yuck.

I told the construction workers I would trade them jobs today.

They thought I was kidding.

I wasn’t.

Are you listening? October 7, 2009

My kids were NOT listening today. I know they were hearing, they just weren’t listening. I would say something like “go sit on a mat” and they would wander over to the kitchen area. I would say something like “don’t touch that” and that would be the first thing they would touch. A couple kids in particular… I wanted to shake them. I didn’t, but I really wanted to.

It made me wonder when I’m not listening. Maybe it’s to someone talking to me or maybe it’s to what God wants to say… sometimes it’s hard to just shut up and listen up. I’ve tried just being still and listening for God’s voice, but sometimes it doesn’t come that easy. I’ve tried praying about something and waiting for an answer… most of the time it doesn’t come like that either. God speaks in his crazy ways… sometimes through someone else, sometimes through the opportunities that come, sometimes it’s through the Bible, sometimes it’s just something ridiculous when you’re like “Really, God? Is that REALLY what you want?”

The point is that He’s saying stuff.

Are you listening to it?

Simple Gifts October 6, 2009

This week has been long…and it’s only Tuesday. Work has felt like just that: WORK. Isn’t it the dream of everyone out there to be able to do what you love to do and get paid for it so that work isn’t really WORK and you go home at the end of the day fulfilled and ready to go back tomorrow? Even excited to go back tomorrow?

That’s not where I am yet. I’m still in the “do this for the paycheck and the resume” mode, thinking that someday I’ll get to the fulfilled-excited-ready-for-Monday me.

God’s got something else planned and while I’m waiting for that amazing job, I need to see the gifts that he has given me. The things that are possibly small, but that fill me up where my job doesn’t.

Evenings are a gift.

Weekends are a gift.

My friends are a gift.

My boyfriend is a gift.

My family (including my parents who are pretty great to live with) are a gift.

The Quarterlife ministry at my church is a gift.

So much I just skip over when I think about being fulfilled and happy… I tend to just look at the place where I”m spending the most time, not the places where I’m spending the happiest amount of time. I need to re-focus. I’m doing what God wants me to do and no, it doesn’t happen to be the happiest place on earth (I don’t work in Disney World), but it’s where I’m gonna be for the next 7.5 months.

Fulfillment  is just gonna have to come from somewhere else for now.

Conflict. And My Hatred There Of. October 5, 2009

I HATE conflict. H. A. T. E. it. It’s yucky, people get hurt. Things are taken out of context and relationships are changed. It really sucks.

I approached the 4-year-old teacher today to try to resolve the icky conflict that’s been happening between us. I didn’t get a chance to do it until nap time which was about 1:30 today and I was the first to break our silent game. I apologized for disrespecting her (not that I meant to do anything of the sort, I just happened to know that’s how she felt) and did not get straight up forgiveness. She chose to hang on to her hurt feelings. We also discovered that my idea of being a teacher of a class and hers is completely different… I consider how I handle things in my classroom to be my call, she takes that as me saying it’s “mine mine mine” and doesn’t think I’m a team player. I told her I would try to listen to her more.

My part is done.

I meant every word of what I said to her today, and while we still have a disagreement, I feel free to do what I need to do in my classroom, whether or not she agrees. I hope and pray that she eventually forgives me and moves on, but on my side I’m feeling ok.

The thing is that I as a Christian am called to a higher standard. I could have kept playing the silent game, sticking to my guns as she sticks to hers, fighting silently and sending our assistants to do our dirty work. The point is that that is not God’s best for us. That’s not the way it needs to be done. We are called to forgive 70 times 7. We are called to show our faith through our love. We are called to forgive and move on. It’s definitely not the easy thing to do. I most positively didn’t enjoy my conversation with the other teacher today, nor was I excited about going into her room and asking if we could talk, but it was the RIGHT thing to do.

Now my job as the Christian in that particular woman’s life is to pray for her. Pray that she can move past our differences. Pray that she can see Jesus through me. Pray that I don’t mess up Christianity for her forever. Pray that the Holy Spirit uses me in her life or in the lives of the others in that school.

Today, work felt like WORK. That’s something else I’ll be praying for… that work begins to feel like something else- like fun. Or like my mission field. Or like where I belong. Or even that it just comes a little easier. And that these days go FAST!!!